Life Among the Never-Winged

Once upon a time I was writing a book called, "Just Another Love Letter", about angels behaving badly. Now I just quietly ask myself each day, "What the hell am I doing?"

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Location: The Rocky Mountain Empire, United States

My friends always knew I was going to hell. My only hope is that God likes good jokes and bad redheads.

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  • Friday, April 18, 2008

    Lame-Ass Meme




    The cavalry's here (or 'calvary' as I misspelled in a recent email). My mama's in town watching the boyos whilst I study for all the pretty finals. So I gots nothing left for the blog. But this meme. Enjoy.


    Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?

    Yes.

    Are you dating the last person you kissed?

    That would be my mom. Ew.

    Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?

    Yes.

    Are you too forgiving?

    I'm no Jesus, but yeah.

    Olive Garden?

    I'd rather eat a bowl of lard with a hair in it, which is what I think they served me the last time.

    Would you live with someone before marrying them?

    I think it would be wise.

    Have your friends ever seen you cry?

    Unfortunately.

    Who was the last person you cried in front of?

    O.

    If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?

    The people in my head.

    What's irritating you right now?

    The idea that one man eared 3.7 billion dollars last year by shorting junk mortgage bonds. That's enough money to keep 666,661 American households afloat for a year.

    What did you do yesterday and with who?

    Homework, while my mom kept an eye on the boyos.

    Who's the last person that you felt stalked by?

    A neighbor kid down the street who waits for our garage door to open. Pathetic, I know.

    What are you stressed out about?

    I think that's obvious.

    Last text message you received?

    'Neil's wearin' a pocket protector' To which I replied, 'Loser! Bwahahahah!'

    What were you doing at midnight last night?

    Dreaming that I was trainspotting with Einstein. I asked him sarcastically what great knowledge he was going to impart to me this time and he laughed and said, “Sometimes a train's just a train, Spooky.”

    Last place you went?

    A chocolate boutique for a dark chocolate Cayenne-laden bon bon.

    Do you talk in your sleep?

    Very occasionally.

    When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

    About an hour ago when I kissed the boyos goodnight.

    What are you looking forward to?

    Learning how to draw trees.

    Ever been a bridesmaid or groomsmen?

    Yes, but the best was serving as the minister for Clowncar and Lil Peewee's wedding.

    Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?

    The left.

    How often do you talk on the phone?

    Two or three times a day.

    Do you believe in love?

    In all its splendid forms.

    How much cash do you have on you?

    A 10p coin from 1995, which will no longer buy anything, anywhere.

    What is your favorite ringtone on your phone?

    What's a ringtone?

    Can you handle the truth?

    Yeah. It's my fantasies that I can't handle.

    Best breakup song?

    'Nothin' On Me' by Shawn Colvin, from 'A Few Small Repairs.' No, wait, 'Get Out of This House' from the same album.

    Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?

    Of course.

    When was the last time you were given roses?

    I don't remember.

    What do you want this year?

    To see the ocean. To finish writing the damn novel. To start a new novel. To keep my 4.1 GPA.

    Do you prefer to call or text?


    Text.

    What month is your birthday in?

    February, the month of sacrifice. The Wolf Moon Month. Ooogie boogie toads.

    How many cities/towns have you lived in?

    Six.

    What are you doing for your next birthday?

    Nothing. But I want cake this time.

    Do you know how to drive a stick shift?

    That all depends on your definition of a stick shift.

    What jewelry are you wearing?

    Nose ring, necklace from Westport, Ireland, 'opal' earrings from Haiti, Land of Zombies.

    Who got you the jewelry you are currently wearing?

    Me, myself, and my mom, respectively.

    How often do you remember your dreams?

    Every time.

    What is the first thing you do in the morning?

    Remember what I dreamed. Wish I was back in it.

    How long is your hair?

    It tickles me bum.

    What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

    Drinking coffee.

    What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

    Answering this problem: 10. Draw or chart and explain 3 or 4 neural pathways which start with different specific sensory neurons, are integrated in one or more CNS structures, and culminate in an action at one or more effectors. Include all 4 cerebral lobes, the other 3 major brain areas, a spinal reflex action, and at least 2 cranial nerves, and an autonomic response one or more of your 3 pathways. Highlight the areas/structures listed above as you use them.

    How do you feel about the person who texted you last?

    BFF!

    Do you like your life as of now?

    *Sigh* No.

    Last thing you purchased?

    A rather short silk wraparound skirt, that can also be worn as a shirt, or a shrug, or a cape, or an apron, or a sarong. In other words, a thneed, which everyone everyone everyone needs.

    Three words to explain why you last threw up?

    Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
    Three words to explain why you almost last threw up?


    Cadaver fecal matter.


    How's your heart lately?

    Arrhythmic and I don't know why.

    Where did your last non-family hug take place?

    Again, I don't remember. I count close friends as family. I don't get out enough to be hugged by strangers.

    Who was the last person to hold your hand?

    My eldest son.

    Are you a jealous person?

    Nope.

    Did you have a good birthday this year?

    I had a difficult birthday this year. I'm hoping for better next year.

    Are you tired right now?

    God yes.

    Do you chew on your straws?

    No. But I tie cherry stems into knots.

    Three days from now will you be in a relationship?

    Yes.

    Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them?

    I have told people of all sexes I love them.

    Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?

    That would be my sister-in-law.

    As of today, do you fancy anyone?

    Yes.

    Have you kissed anyone on the lips today?

    No.

    Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

    That's child's play, baby!

    Last person you cried over?

    Don't laugh. Ray Bradbury.

    Do you cry easily?

    No, but I cry over weird things. I think it's called transference.

    What should you be doing right now?

    Figuring out what I need to study for Monday's test.

    Are you a heavy sleeper?

    I'll sleep when I'm dead, sir.








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    18 people left me a love letter:

    Blogger Bud wrote in a love letter...

    Can you feel my hug across the internet? The Einstein dream was brilliant. I can't see a train without thinking about relativity. But alas it is still just a train.

    6:39 AM, April 19, 2008  
    Blogger meno wrote in a love letter...

    That's an odd meme. Who comes up with these questions?

    I feel the same as you do about The Olive Garden.

    Cadaver Fecal Matter. I think i have their last album.

    9:57 AM, April 19, 2008  
    Blogger Lynn wrote in a love letter...

    I was doing great reading this meme until I got to the question of what you were doing 30 minutes ago. Was question 10 from your "Keys to understanding Martian as it pertains to neural pathways" class? sheeesh...btw, is there even an answer to that question that can be explained in English?

    11:18 AM, April 19, 2008  
    Blogger Irrelephant wrote in a love letter...

    You blogged! About trains, and Einstein, and other strange things! "Sometimes a train's just a train." I was out 'spotting all morning with VW, and I finally told her that the one line that's going to stick with me forever from her is "You can't catch them all."

    We loves you, NancyPants. Hang in there.

    6:55 PM, April 19, 2008  
    Blogger Stucco wrote in a love letter...

    Arrythmias are my thing- getcher own malady young lady!

    WV: sydaho Heh- no, udaho... bah dum bum.

    7:20 PM, April 19, 2008  
    Blogger Schmoopie wrote in a love letter...

    Miss ya Pants!

    Come see the ocean anytime. It's here. It's not going anywhere soon ;)

    8:14 PM, April 19, 2008  
    Blogger Clowncar wrote in a love letter...

    Perhaps they should rename it Bowl of Lard With a Hair In It Garden. Though the stockholders probably wouldn't be pleased.

    Not only did you minister our wedding, but did so with the boyos tucked away inside you (probably fighting over the umbilical cords!). Makes us feel good your whole family was there.

    And that was the best bottle of champagne I've ever had.

    4:41 PM, April 20, 2008  
    Blogger greenmoss wrote in a love letter...

    The ass of that meme was not so lame that I didn't make it to the end. Einstein to cadaver poop. I think you have run the full gamut of the human condition. Congratulations! You win a trip to the nearest spot in the universe. That'll be 10p please.
    Greenmoss

    10:55 PM, April 20, 2008  
    Blogger JustCallMeJo wrote in a love letter...

    *giggle*

    Good luck on exams/tests/lab books.

    Champagne brunch on Friday. For real.
    love,
    /jo

    12:31 AM, April 22, 2008  
    Anonymous Rudi wrote in a love letter...

    You wrote: The cavalry's here (or 'calvary' as I misspelled in a recent email). My mama's in town ...

    'Cavalry' spooky, I read that while listening to Jesus Christ Superstar.

    I hope Mama doesn't misinterpret a typo as a Freudian slip.

    You wrote I'll sleep when I'm dead, sir.

    My advice to you my dear is to enjoy every sandwich.

    6:49 AM, April 22, 2008  
    Blogger Maggie wrote in a love letter...

    and this is why i love you

    8:34 PM, April 22, 2008  
    Blogger D-Man wrote in a love letter...

    That's some long-ass hair.

    :D

    5:04 AM, April 23, 2008  
    Blogger Mona Buonanotte wrote in a love letter...

    I have the overwhelming urge to braid your hair. Do you mind?

    5:11 AM, April 24, 2008  
    Anonymous Daisy wrote in a love letter...

    I had a five pound note from 1995 and it kept getting handed back to me, but my [Scottish] friend took it and paid the cabdriver with it no problem...

    So you might be able to go over there and go gangbusters with that 10p! (Or have it made into a lucky necklace to go with that 4.1!)

    Good luck -- waving my arms in a magical voodoo manner to send all sorts of excellent vibes your way.

    8:56 PM, April 25, 2008  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Hugs back, Bud! Einstein and I go way back... ;-)

    Meno: 12 year old girls, The Lard Special must be hot in Seattle too, file them next to Cannibal Corpse.

    I think it was, Lynn, because there were things in trays that I had to identify during my last practical that had no business being in a human...

    I thought of you when I woke up, Ir. I wonder how you would have blogged it.

    Medaho Stucco? Uknowbro! lol And you can keep yer damn arrhythmias. No, wait, don't keep them. Bad idea.

    Miss you too, Schmoop. I wonder if I could sneak a trip in...but I think O would kill me this time, considering what he's about to do.

    A bowl by any other name would still taste just as greasy, Mr. C. That WAS the best champagne. Ever.

    I think I paid over that 10p, Greemoss. I can't find it now!

    Hee hee...it was real. Yuumy. :-)

    Synchronicity is my superpower, Rudi. But you knew that. She took no offense.

    I love you too, Maggs!

    Are you saying a need a Brazilian, D-Man? ;-)

    *drool* Oh, no, don't touch my hair, Mona! ;-)

    I can't WAIT to get back over there, Daisy. To Ireland, that is. I'll take all the voodoo I can, zombie free of course. ;-)

    7:16 PM, April 28, 2008  
    Blogger Vulgar Wizard wrote in a love letter...

    How, my dear, does one obtain a 4.1 GPA exactly? Jeebus!

    2:44 PM, May 04, 2008  
    Blogger Vulgar Wizard wrote in a love letter...

    And WTF is Stucco saying backwards about me?

    2:45 PM, May 04, 2008  
    Blogger The Young Ones wrote in a love letter...

    Agreed. Equally curious about obtaining a 4.1 GPA. Also, the location of A chocolate boutique for a dark chocolate Cayenne-laden bon bon, hmmmmm? Miss T

    10:13 PM, May 24, 2008  

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