Moving Against the Gradient
So I probably aced this test too.
I just found out this is going to take a lot longer than I thought. The rules changed on me.
I've gone from knowing the path to getting completely lost in the woods. I'm not sure which way to go. And I'm afraid of hearing, 'You're too old to do this.' 'You wasted your time.' 'Go away, we can't use you.'
I don't want alternatives. I want this. I've spent my life chasing alternatives. Every time I've had a dream I've listened to people who've told me it wouldn't work, that I should do that instead. And so I have, and now I'm here, and I don't want to be here.
I LOVE this stuff.
They mean well. But I know what I want. And I know what I don't want. And if it doesn't make sense to anyone else, well, so be it. Welcome to my world.
Aw hell. Don't listen to me. I'm just tired today. Fighting off a cold again. Taking some ribbing from the Universe (inside outside/leave me alone/inside outside/nowhere is home... pours spontaneously out of the radio and I almost laugh). O is tired too. And I think the boyos are sick of us both.
I've got to figure some things out. If I could just wake up enough. I'm tired of these dead ends.
I'm sure I'll feel better after I make some phone calls on Monday.
Hmm. Maybe I'll just be a writer instead.
AH HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!