Life Among the Never-Winged

Once upon a time I was writing a book called, "Just Another Love Letter", about angels behaving badly. Now I just quietly ask myself each day, "What the hell am I doing?"

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Location: The Rocky Mountain Empire, United States

My friends always knew I was going to hell. My only hope is that God likes good jokes and bad redheads.

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  • Wednesday, September 12, 2007

    Ladies, Fix My Social Autism!

    Guys, you can play next time. Love you, mean it. But this requires a woman's touch. Heh.

    Ok, here's the thing. I have a social engagement coming up on Saturday which has the potential of turning very ugly. Let's hope not. But if it does, I need your advice.

    The scenario:

    My Dear Friend is having a baby shower/open house sort of thingy for her daughter, 'Judith', who is in town this weekend. Yay.

    The problem:

    Dear Friend is best friends with my mother-in-law, and has known my sister-in-law since she was in diapers. So guess who's going to be there?

    I haven't spoken to my SIL since January, '06. And our last conversation was a bit one-sided – me listening to her shriek through the phone about how horrible I am. (Which is true. I am horrible. But she didn't have to shatter my eardrum telling me.) One of her issues with me is actually my relationship with Dear Friend. See, apparently friendship with Dear Friend is limited, and it's first come, first serve. And like everything else out here, I should be excluded from it.

    Anyway, the shower. I'll probably see her there. And she's the type of person who loves drama, loves being the martyr.

    It's the boyos' birthday party the next day, and I worry that she will bring gifts for them and make a show of giving them to me since she isn't invited to the party. No, I will not invite her to the party. My family has been excluded from too many parties in the meantime. (See? Horrible.)

    In anticipation of this, I have a baby gift I can give my SIL to give to another mutual friend; another SIL-sponsored party that I was not invited to. (See? Catty. I don't do catty well. I hate being trapped in a woman's body, I really really do.)

    I want to maintain my cool. I want to be gracious but distant. I want to keep in mind that it is 'Judith's' day. How, dear wise ladies all, do I do this?

    And do you think that half a Vicadin before the party will put me to sleep before my head hits the steering wheel?

    My one bright spot for the day is that I'll be hanging with Cheesy later on!

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    6 people left me a love letter:

    Blogger Des_Moines_Girl wrote in a love letter...

    Hey ND! Great talking to you yesterday! I miss our gab fests!

    I already gave you my "witty comeback" suggestions. Here's a idea to get you in the mood:

    Watch "Queen Christina" and work on your Garbo impersonation. Hold your head high and practice the walk. That gal had some serius chutzpah in the movie. Try to recreate that feeling if you find yourself face-to-face with sister-in-law.

    And as always a good stiff drink before you go wouldn't hurt. ;-)

    Good luck!

    10:47 AM, September 13, 2007  
    Blogger Irrelephant wrote in a love letter...

    *grumble grumble* No men... *growl grumble* estrogen fest... *grumble*

    6:32 PM, September 13, 2007  
    Blogger liv wrote in a love letter...

    Well, my southernly reply to you is that you will go, be gracious, and just pretend that you are someone else the entire time. Pretend you are an actress only working for the allotted time of the shower. You act as if there's nothing between you two, because really, there ain't. You'll greet, and mingle with others and call it good. And if someone should call you away on an emergency, well, you'll have to leave.

    7:10 PM, September 13, 2007  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    See, I will read this with interest, b/c I am still not very good at being in the same room with Mr. & Mrs. X (yes, I know, I need to just let it go; I'm working on it) and I probably will be at a school thing for adults at the end of the month....

    So I'll wish you luck, if you wish me luck...

    10:33 PM, September 13, 2007  
    Blogger Mother of Invention wrote in a love letter...

    Tough one and not too much fun...unless you really get into the acting as suggested above!
    Then, you could also wimp out and make an excuse why you can't go.

    2:24 PM, September 14, 2007  
    Blogger meno wrote in a love letter...

    Don't pass the present on to her for the other baby shower. Send it/drop it off on your own.

    Other than that, stick around others and don't respond to anything she says that is mean. Just look at her as if she just stepped out of an alien space ship.

    Of course, asking me for social advice isn't really a good idea. :)

    5:13 PM, September 14, 2007  

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