Life Among the Never-Winged

Once upon a time I was writing a book called, "Just Another Love Letter", about angels behaving badly. Now I just quietly ask myself each day, "What the hell am I doing?"

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Location: The Rocky Mountain Empire, United States

My friends always knew I was going to hell. My only hope is that God likes good jokes and bad redheads.

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  • Tuesday, May 15, 2007

    Feet Leaving Ground

    I needed a starting point. And a kick in the pants.

    I found one and the other followed all on its own, as these things seem to do.

    Pregnant ladies. I love pregnant ladies. Ever since my sister-in-law's pregnancy ten years ago, I've felt protective of those big round bellies and those sighing ladies.

    So I decided that I would start there, with my desire to help moms-to-be. But what to do?

    Then it hit me. Doulas. I could be a doula! I could help women navigate their way through all their birthing choices, give them information on breastfeeding, and just be there to hold their hands and say, 'there there' in my most comforting voice while they're freaking out over the little bundle heaven's about to toss their way.

    Tears in my eyes, the minute I realized this was what I wanted to do.

    But I'm not going to be a doula. For various reasons, I've decided not to pursue that dream.

    However, I'm still going to help out those dear pregnant ladies I love so much. And today I made my first real step in that direction.

    I'm back in college, Dear Readers. I'm going to be a diagnostic medical sonographer, otherwise known as an ultrasound tech.

    It's a one-year program. However, since I'm old, the expiration date on my first college degree passed seven years ago. So it's back to basics – to even hope to get into the program I first need to retake biology, anatomy/physiology, physics, algebra and English comp. (I'm hoping to test out of English comp. Think I can do it?)

    In other words, all the classes I loved in high school and mostly avoided in college in favor of a (mostly) worthless Journalism degree. Ah well. We do what we do, and we waste what we waste.

    So. Next August I'm taking Biology 111, complete with lab and discussion. 5 credits. For science majors. How the hell'd that happen?

    The kick in the pants? Well, I wrote about that already. P and C selling their print shop was a wake-up call for me. I had no desire to go out and find similar employment, freelance or otherwise. Even though I'll be taking a 50% cut in my hourly pay by becoming a sonographer, I'd rather be doing that. I have clients who will be broken-hearted to see me go and I will miss them, but...I'm done now. (unless you have a job for me, Clowncar, before you bid your own career adieu.)

    Tomorrow night P and C are having a farewell dinner for their former employees and freelancers. They are celebrating the end of an era. And quietly, I'll be celebrating the beginning of one.

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    13 people left me a love letter:

    Blogger Cheesy wrote in a love letter...

    WHAT A FUN JOB!! You get to peek in on the little wee ones before their eyes are open... I am jealous! Luck to you sweet gurlie~~ If you need help with your Science homework?? um don't call me.

    12:27 AM, May 16, 2007  
    Blogger patches wrote in a love letter...

    Geez, Nancy how old are you? Oh shit that was rude. I didn't really type it...It magically appeared on the screen and I had nothing to do with it. Really.

    Anyhoo, I'm excited for you Nancy. I also thought it sucked that dreams paid so little, but that's the thing about dreams. They pull you in and you can't control them because they control you. If you need help with anatomy, I can draw you pictures and stuff : )...........Congrats.

    6:27 AM, May 16, 2007  
    Blogger Maggie wrote in a love letter...

    I wondered if ultrasound tech was it due to some inconspicuous clues you dropped here and there. Congrats on finding your dream. What a cool direction.

    As for what to call us, you follow golf traditions and call us Pant's Ants or Nancy's Antsies? I like Pant's Ants.

    6:51 AM, May 16, 2007  
    Blogger Mona Buonanotte wrote in a love letter...

    Oh this is just awesome news! I LOVE ultrasound techs! After the kids, and now all the old-girl stuff I'm going through, they are definitely the most helpful, kindest, gentlest, bestest folks I encounter at the doctor! You'll be fabulous!

    Be warned, though, that it means you'll have to do those 'internal' ultrasounds, and sometimes we girls just can't help but squeal at the thought of...well...I think I've said enuf....

    8:59 AM, May 16, 2007  
    Anonymous Rudi wrote in a love letter...

    Had Mona not led us down (up? :-) that path I would have just thought of the plain old outside use, goop on the belly, transducers. But since she started the thought ...

    So what this means is that Nancy Dancehall will eventually be licensed in the state of Colorado to operate an Ultrasonic Dildo. See:


    Now, IIRC, the moniker "Nancy Dancehall" itself is somewhat derived from our soon to be re-minted schoolgirl's writing research into Old West prostitutes.

    Somewhere the Cosmos is chuckling.

    12:21 PM, May 16, 2007  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Hee! It's a little like cheating, isn't it Cheesy? :-)

    I'm 36, Patches. Just over five in cat-years. But apparently Old Coot in Universityland Years. And it does suck that dreams pay so little (one big reason for not being a Doula) but this one still pays quite well. heck, if they payed me nothing, I'd still be $9,000 ahead with the health insurance alone.
    Draw me a pelvis! ;-)

    I always thought they were the best too, Mona. Thanks for the vote of confidence. And, um, I'm no stranger to the 'Magic Wand.' Apparently I'm reverse-engineered or something, making the wand necessary. TMI back atcha! ;-)

    Yup, that's the one, Rudi. And yeah, the Universe is have a good laugh. The Universe is ALWAYS having a good laugh. :-)

    1:34 PM, May 16, 2007  
    Blogger Irrelephant wrote in a love letter...

    So what ARE you going to call a bunch of blog readers? A verification? A response? A murder? No, that's crows.

    How about "a Dancehall of commenters." Heh!

    1:59 PM, May 16, 2007  
    Blogger Scott from Oregon wrote in a love letter...


    so.. no.. graph.. er..

    so.. nog.. ra.. pher..

    Well, its got a dreamy ring to it...

    When you are done, can I come play with your machine?

    3:50 PM, May 16, 2007  
    Blogger Cheesy wrote in a love letter...

    "But apparently Old Coot in Universityland Years." OMG pants I can so relate! I had to trip down to the U of O to get a copy of my transcripts last summer for a job I was applying for at the PO... Gave the kiddo at the desk my info and she looks me up on the computer... puzzled look on her face... She walks back to what looks to be the Supers cubical... comes back and says..."Ms.
    Cheese I need to go back into the archives room to get your files"...

    Im so damned old I've been archived! What a slap on the ass...

    11:42 PM, May 16, 2007  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    So, my Dear Verifiers...hmmm...My Dear Responders...nah...My Dear Murderers...Heehee... A Dancehall of commenters is good, but what do I call them singly?

    Sure, Scott! Do you have a vagina? *wink*
    But...Scott, meet Mona. Mona, Scott...

    LMAO!! Jaysus, Cheese, you almost made chianti come out of my nose and I had my last glass two hours ago!

    12:36 AM, May 17, 2007  
    Blogger meno wrote in a love letter...

    You told me this when you were here, but i want to chime in, late, and say again, how cool. You will get to be there for some pretty dramatic moments in people's lives. How cool is that?

    12:05 PM, May 17, 2007  
    Blogger Mother of Invention wrote in a love letter...

    I think this is an exciting new direction and it will be interesting to take some of tose subjects again. I'm thinkin' you'll ace Eng. Comp!!!

    7:15 PM, May 18, 2007  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Thanks, Meno. I know; I'll be there for the best and the worst moments in a woman's life. It's heavy. But I want to do it. And did you say Algebra help....?

    Thanks, MOI. I'm hoping to test out of it. $75 for a test vs several hundred for a class. Even I can do the math. :-)

    8:48 PM, May 18, 2007  

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