Sorry about my whinefest on the 31st. I had my follow-up appointment that day, and the news wasn't good.
Turns out I was not hallucinating, and Dr. S did indeed say I might want my ovary removed. He was surprised that I'd heard him. But anesthesia does funny things, and I didn't really want to be under anyway, as we all know.
Dr. S saw some other “irregularities” that disturbed him enough to take a few biopsies. Thankfully, they all came back benign. We'll redress the issues in three months, at my next appointment.
I don't know. All I know is that the pain has returned. It's...discouraging.
For the past few days I've curled up inside myself, dreaming of flights away from...I don't know. The snow, the pain, the fear? To someplace where no one knows me, where even my body can't find me. My dreams are unfamiliar. I'm with people I don't know, we're waiting at night for something to happen. Outside I can hear the ocean, but I know that if I open the door and look it will only be the wind blowing across dry sand and stones that never saw the bottom of a river.
Anyway, thank you so much for sticking around, reading and cheering me up with comments and emails. Because you have.