Life Among the Never-Winged

Once upon a time I was writing a book called, "Just Another Love Letter", about angels behaving badly. Now I just quietly ask myself each day, "What the hell am I doing?"

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Location: The Rocky Mountain Empire, United States

My friends always knew I was going to hell. My only hope is that God likes good jokes and bad redheads.

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  • Thursday, December 14, 2006

    Two Strands of Black Pearls

    (Warning: Graphic material)

    So the other day I went to see the doc who got me pregnant (and he didn't even remember me, dammit! What's a poor girl to do?). Dr. S. wanted to examine me himself. Sometimes endometriosis shows up in ultrasounds when it's particularly advanced, or as he put it, “When it moves out from the cavities and eats into tissue or into the ovaries.”

    I'm an old pro at examining ultrasounds. I've had around 40. Watching the screen helps me forget what is happening to my body. That is always a good thing, when I can leave my body behind during these procedures. They aren't the noninvasive, roller-over-the-belly type, if you know what I mean gals.

    The tech started in, and the screen filled with black and white images. A dark patch, cottony and cinder-dark, let him know where to begin in surgery. Then:

    “Look at that,” said Dr. S. “Can we get a picture of that?” The tech zoomed in and clicked a button. “That is a textbook case of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.”

    “Let me see.” I said.

    “There, see that? The cysts line up around the perimeter of the ovary. It's sometimes called a strand of pearls. And you have them in both ovaries. I've never seen such a textbook case,” he said, a look of near-rapture on his face. “You could be a model, do you know that?”

    “Why, thank you!”

    He laughed, and that's a sight worth seeing under any circumstances (back me up on this, Schmoop).

    “And we got you pregnant?” he asked.

    “Yes. Twin boys.”

    “How did we do that?”


    He shook his head.

    “I can tell you this now, since you were successful. I don't know how it happened. Not with what I'm seeing.”

    “A miracle?”

    He nodded, still staring at the dark pearls. “That's fair.”

    So a handsome doctor thinks I'm model-beautiful on the inside, I'm the proud possessor of two strands of black pearls, and I'm a worker of miracles. What else could I possibly need for Christmas?*

    Surgery's set for 7:30, January 8th. Positive thoughts,wishes, prayers, vibes, fantasies, delusions, love and lust sent my way all gratefully accepted.

    Oh, yes, and for the perverts in my life, I give you...a pair of boobies!

    Hey, I told you they wouldn't be mine.

    *Why, one of these Poppets, of course! Just got mine in the mail today. Very happy.

    15 people left me a love letter:

    Blogger Meno wrote in a love letter...

    I'm kind of disappointed, i was expecting some hot porn action. See, you really are beautiful inside and out.
    And of course i am sending and will send you many more positive thoughts.

    4:00 PM, December 14, 2006  
    Blogger Bud wrote in a love letter...

    They have the coolest feet ever! Blue swede webbed feet!

    You KNOW I'll be pounding the vibe waves for you. We've discussed this. String of pearls indeed!

    5:02 PM, December 14, 2006  
    Blogger Stucco wrote in a love letter...

    Pants- you'll be fine and pain free when it's all said and done, and if afterwards you want something like pearls back within you- get the kind that vibrate.

    As for the birds, when your name is "booby" and you aren't gettin' any, I guess the blue could travel to the extremities.

    5:08 PM, December 14, 2006  
    Anonymous maggie wrote in a love letter...

    Miracle indeed! Funny when a doctor gets all starry eyed over the diseases and malfunctions of our bodies. Good vibes starting now - stockpile them!

    The boobies picture made me laugh and I haven't laughed much today as you know. Thanks!

    6:58 PM, December 14, 2006  
    Blogger Schmoopie wrote in a love letter...

    I am SO JEALOUS! I haven't seen Dr. S. in 10 years! He is the most handsome doc there is. He has a gorgeous smile and such a nice countenance. Thank goodness you decided to attempt to have children when you did. Any later and you may not have been successful. Timing is everything!

    The boobies made me laugh out loud too. A. and Z. thought I had lost my mind :)

    I am glad your surgery is happening soon. Let's hope you will be pain-free for a long time.

    7:23 PM, December 14, 2006  
    Blogger Scott from Oregon wrote in a love letter...

    hmmm... Well, I was asking for just boobies. I didn't know we got the whole gynecological exam too!

    If I ask for a tickle?

    You get good vibes from this tiny corner of the universe...

    8:36 PM, December 14, 2006  
    Blogger Scott from Oregon wrote in a love letter...

    I almost forgot. Your blogger friend you left a link for is having a baby and doesn't have a banner for her blog. I had one made as a present for going through labor. It can be seen here--

    Do you think she will like it if I gave it to her?

    8:44 PM, December 14, 2006  
    Blogger Irrelephant wrote in a love letter...


    5:55 AM, December 15, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Aw, Meno, I'll just have to have you over to the house for that. ;-) Thanks for the positive thoughts.

    They're Elvis birds, Bud. Thaks fot the vibes. Have fun in Puerto Rico! (as if you wouldn't)

    See, Stucco? As promised. Always willing to help out a friend in need whose hotel internet connection is run by the Thought Police, or TP as I call them. I can't wait til this surgery is behind me.

    Oh, but it's nice to see stars in this doc's eyes, Maggie (I know, I'm a sick woman). I am stockpiling good vibes like crazy. I hope _you're_ feeling better today, dear.

    I remember sitting in your kitchen before the first appointment, Schmoop, and your comment to me was something like, 'Start picking out names, you're as good as pregnant.' (Pssst...A. and Z. already KNOW you're crazy ;-) ).

    There's always a little extra on my site, Scott. Ask for a tickle, I'd put you in stitches. And, that banner for Esereth is so sweet and considerate! Leave her a comment about it. Just mention me. my fellow birdvert. ;-)

    8:44 AM, December 15, 2006  
    Blogger Scott from Oregon wrote in a love letter...

    But did I get the right kind of button? I mean, there are buttons, and then there are buttons.

    5:54 PM, December 15, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    You know, I have no idea why she named her site what she did.

    8:33 PM, December 15, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    I was just saying to My Love today that I wondered if you had your procedure yet and that you must have and that I hoped all had gone well.

    Good vibes coming at you in droves. xo

    6:43 PM, December 20, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    I'll take them, thank you. :-)

    1:57 PM, December 21, 2006  
    Anonymous Rudi wrote in a love letter...

    Positive thoughts, candles, old fasioned prayers, you name it you got it. I'll be thinking of you on Monday.

    My daughter just had her second endo
    surgery a month ago, I have just a very small insight as to what you're going through.

    Jeez, I and just swung by because I always read your comments over at Pinch of the Glass. Small world.

    Anyway, if you want quality boobies then look no further than:


    2:46 PM, January 05, 2007  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Thank you Rudi! And thanks for stopping by. I hope you will again. My best wishes for your daughter.

    lol..just followed the link. Looks like MY pair!

    6:50 PM, January 05, 2007  

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