Life Among the Never-Winged

Once upon a time I was writing a book called, "Just Another Love Letter", about angels behaving badly. Now I just quietly ask myself each day, "What the hell am I doing?"

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Location: The Rocky Mountain Empire, United States

My friends always knew I was going to hell. My only hope is that God likes good jokes and bad redheads.

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  • Monday, November 06, 2006

    Ever Have a Day Like This One?

    You were shining, warm and happy inside. You awoke to find your tea light had gone out, and you feel like this?



    Hormones. The doc said they were fine, all within parameters. But that knowledge doesn't help when you're sitting in the car, and the sun is too bright outside, and there's something running around under your skin like a mouse, eating you from the inside out, and you can't point to it, you can't catch it, and you can't help the tears and the fears, and the only thing that pulls you back together is seeing a long black car from the twenties go driving by the other direction. You close your eyes after that, and hang on to the image, turning it around and around, like it's a brand new word made solid in your hands. And the words means, 'steady now.' And the words means, 'hang on.' And the word means...


    I think it means, 'hope.'


    Ga. This is why I don't post everyday.

    11 people left me a love letter:

    Blogger Esereth wrote in a love letter...

    Ah hon. It is so hard to put that awful, unparallel feeling of misery and terror into words, I know, I try all the time. You did it painfully well.

    There is help out there, Nancy. Books, therapists? Do you want to talk?

    1:29 PM, November 06, 2006  
    Blogger meno wrote in a love letter...

    That picture is perfect for this post.
    Hormones. Gah. Woke up in the middle of the night last night soaked in sweat. And no, it wasn't hot. Grrrrr.

    2:15 PM, November 06, 2006  
    Blogger Lucky Star wrote in a love letter...

    No, no--write this stuff, too. It's good for you...and it happens to be beautiful.

    Hold on to your hormones--
    and keep remembering it'll be better...

    3:40 PM, November 06, 2006  
    Anonymous clowncar wrote in a love letter...

    Good picture. Good blog too, particularly "You close your eyes after that, and hang on to the image, turning it around and around, like it's a brand new word made solid in your hands." Hope you feel better soon.

    What's a tea light?

    Oh, and what W. has done for me lately is stirred me up out of my relative political apathy.

    4:34 PM, November 06, 2006  
    Blogger Irrelephant wrote in a love letter...

    A tea light is when you make Lipton but you soak the bag in only lukewarm water and you take it out after only three minutes.

    Tea lite.

    Sorry.

    Be strong, Nancy. There are a lot of good folks out here who love you dearly, and want you to keep walking the path with us, for at least a little longer.

    BTW, what kind of car? *rubbing my hands together anxiously*

    5:04 PM, November 06, 2006  
    Blogger Bud wrote in a love letter...

    Hope is so important. So is using the right positive language all the time. It feeds the hope. I'm so into psycho-linguistics. Tell yourself nothing but good stuff and good stuff will happen.

    5:29 PM, November 06, 2006  
    Blogger Des_Moines_Girl wrote in a love letter...

    Hold on to my hand as we walk across the ice. We can steady each other.

    Everything is going to be just fine. Call me if you want to talk.

    7:10 PM, November 06, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    mmmmwaaaahhhhhhhh. (that's a big kiss)
    Hmmm. What does a hug sound like? That kind of geeeehhhhhh noise one makes as the breath is squeezed out? Hmm.

    xoxoxoxoxo

    7:51 AM, November 07, 2006  
    Blogger Schmoopie wrote in a love letter...

    Poor jack-o-lantern! He deserves a quiet shove into a large plastic bag. We will miss him, but he will be back next year!

    You deserve a long quiet day, alone, to do whatever your heart desires.

    I hate when I cry about seemingly nothing, and everything at the same time. It is such an overwhelming feeling. I'll send all of my good thoughts to you for a happy day. (Tuk Tuk?)

    7:52 AM, November 07, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, guys. I'm feeling better now, just the occasional little drop yesterday. Thank you.

    Es: Thanks, dear. I'd like that. I know you understand. nancy_dancehall at yahoo.

    Meno: You mean there are cold flashes? No no no! I'm looking _forward_ to _hot_ flashes. :-)

    Lisa: Thanks, dear. I know I should write about this, I just need to overcome all the stiff upper lip conditioning.

    Clowncar: Thanks. Words in hand -- the heart of my book, as you know.
    Tea lights are those ridiculous little candles in metal containers that you use to melt wax potpourri and illuminate Jack-O-Lanterns. Very girly. But not as girly as a bald man in fishnets who just wants to dance (heh).

    Ir: You goof. :-) I'm not planning on going anywhere so yall are stuck with me for a while. Thank you.

    Bud: Wise, as usual. I have little words and phrases that I hang onto when this happens. Luckily, it's not often.

    DMG: You make me cry the happy tears. :-) I will call you this weekend, if not sooner.

    Amusing: mmmmmmwwwaaaaahhhhh backatcha! :-) thank you, thank you, my dear.

    Schmoop: I'm afraid he received a pauper's burial: one plastic bag shared with two other Jack-O-Lanterns. So am I in for an undead zombie Jack-O-Lantern next year? I'll send him Clowncar's way.

    I'll take that quiet day alone. But first, Tuk Tuk! Noon?

    9:46 AM, November 07, 2006  
    Blogger Stucco wrote in a love letter...

    *ahem* Not too sunny in these parts (*looking away and whistling*)

    8:33 PM, November 07, 2006  

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