Life Among the Never-Winged

Once upon a time I was writing a book called, "Just Another Love Letter", about angels behaving badly. Now I just quietly ask myself each day, "What the hell am I doing?"

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Location: The Rocky Mountain Empire, United States

My friends always knew I was going to hell. My only hope is that God likes good jokes and bad redheads.

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  • Thursday, July 27, 2006

    Yes, I Remember It Well

    Ok. Blogger is freaking out on me, and I can't get to half the sites I want to, I can't leave the comments you all so richly deserve, and I barely got here. Add to that a futile attempt to get ready for RockyGrass Weekend (can I get a hoot and a holler?) and a migraine which has already eaten away the center of my vision (added to my normal sad little pecking at the keyboard, I have to turn my head a little sideways to see what I'm doing; I'm a bird today.)

    So. I'm letting you, my Dearest Readers, blog for me.

    I've seen this one floating around, and I think I'll use it today.

    Describe a time we were together. It must be fictitious. Go crazy. Best one wins a prize. If I can figure out what that is.

    31 people left me a love letter:

    Anonymous Anonymous wrote in a love letter...

    I could only get in trouble with a mandate such as this...

    -Stucco

    1:52 PM, July 27, 2006  
    Blogger Bud wrote in a love letter...

    Okay, you deserve a good one here so I'm gonna think about this and come back. Honest.

    5:51 PM, July 27, 2006  
    Anonymous nim chimpsky wrote in a love letter...

    Remember the time we killed that evil monkey who could control space and timw with his brain, thus saving the universe from his terrible powers?

    8:48 PM, July 27, 2006  
    Anonymous D-Man wrote in a love letter...

    I remember that time Luke got his hand chopped off by his father and I said we were all doomed and then you went "No, there is another" and at first I thought you meant his sister Leia, but now I think maybe you meant his father, who was whom we all initially thought was the saviour, but then he turned to the dark side, but in the end he did the right thing and killed the emperor. You were so wise.

    6:25 AM, July 28, 2006  
    Blogger Bud wrote in a love letter...

    I remember that time in Chicago when I had about 18 hours before a last minute fill in gig. I needed to come up with about another hour's worth of original material. I was brain dead enough to agree to do it and too brain dead to write any new songs let along an hour's worth in half a day. So you and I holed up in that Holiday Inn out in Napersville with your laptop and my guitar. I said, "I'm verbally vacant. Haven't put two words together since I said 'good morning.'"
    And you said, "That's a good start, I'll write that down." Half and hour later we had two verses and a chorus. And that's how we wrote "Let's Start With Good Morning." Not exactly a rocker but we're still collecting royalties on that one, huh?

    Then I said, "Let's order some room service, maybe lunch will get here in time for dinner." And before I could dial, you had written that down too. That one turned into Better Late Than Gone For Good. Not exactly a classic but it played on the country charts or a while. But I realized I had to stop talking in banalities and clichés or you were gonna write down every dip shit thing I said and we'd write a country album.

    So I was quiet for a while. And finally said, "I'm terrified of being empty." You naturally turned that into Fear of An Empty Heart." And we went on like that for the rest of the day. Turned out six songs. So I had to play them twice or drag each one out to ten minutes. So you saved my ass again and pulled the fire alarm when I ran out of material. I always loved you for your musability and your quick thinking.

    10:24 AM, July 28, 2006  
    Blogger Irrelephant wrote in a love letter...

    Hey, remember that time we were in Peru, or was it the Congo, anyway, we were defending that tiny native village from an army ant attack? And all I had was an old Queen Anne chair and you pulled out that glass of tap water. Boy the ants regretted THAT day indeed.

    And then we had to leave right in the middle of the victory celebration because the villagers one hill over were sore because all the ants went over THERE and started eating THEIR cows and pigs and trees and firepits. I remember standing there trying desperately to get the cold-fusion engine on the paraglider to kick over and I kept fussing with it and hammering at it with my multi-tool, and you finally pushed me out of the way and pointed out that I had left the Go Switch set to "Don't Run," and you flipped it to "Go Baby Go," and that did it. Remember our shock when we both realised that the paraglider was only built for an occupancy of one, but unwilling to leave me behind you fashioned a Swiss climber's sling from some vines and leaves there in the jungle and you sort of slung me underneath the bottom until we got clear of the jungle. Remember that?

    The vines were poison ivy. I was in Hospital for a month with terrible itching in a very sensitive spot indeed.

    4:53 PM, July 28, 2006  
    Blogger Lisa wrote in a love letter...

    I remember that summer we worked as chambermaids together at that B&B on the island. God, we were irresponsible and silly! Remember those guys at the quarry? We were jumping in from the cliff and they kept shouting what we assumed were crude comments in our direction, but then...when we were climbing, wet and laughing, into our hot car, they ran up to us, feet smacking smooth dirt, "Wait!Wait!" We both blushed...they were soooo cute. And they said they were trying to invite us to a party and then THEY blushed, and gave us directions and shuffled their feet and almost forgot to exchange names with us. And then the tall one broke the almost-awkward silence by swooping in to kiss me on the cheek, then letting out a victory whoop and running back down the wooded path to the water. The blonde one smiled right at you, holding your gaze while his friend receded and then said, "See ya tonight, R." and sprinted off. We got in the car and were silent for a long time. Forgetting to even turn on any music. We both just felt the air rushing in through the windows and glowed.

    5:47 PM, July 28, 2006  
    Blogger Des_Moines_Girl wrote in a love letter...

    Hey!

    Remember that time when we were herding sheep in the mountains and...uh...never mind.

    9:31 PM, July 28, 2006  
    Blogger Des_Moines_Girl wrote in a love letter...

    Wait wait! I remembered another time...at band camp...and...crap!

    9:32 PM, July 28, 2006  
    Blogger Des_Moines_Girl wrote in a love letter...

    Okay! Okay! Now I really really have one.

    Remember the time when you asked a question on your blog and I wrote something so incredibly funny that everyone who read it laughed so hard they peed their pants?

    SHIT!

    I don't think I'm good at this game....next question please! ;-)

    9:34 PM, July 28, 2006  
    Blogger Des_Moines_Girl wrote in a love letter...

    Me again. I tagged you on my site.

    Later!

    9:36 PM, July 28, 2006  
    Blogger Schmoopie wrote in a love letter...

    Remember when we decided to spend the day together and we met that beautiful couple when we stopped for mochas? I think her name was Sara and his was something like Pen. They just looked like they belonged together. But there was something about him...didn't he have hooves or something? :)

    9:28 AM, July 29, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    I was looking through a box of old stuff and came across the photos from when we were stewardesses on those transatlantic flights. Wow. What crazy times, huh? Those touchy, feely pilots -- remember how much Steve liked you? He was pretty cute. And remember the time that Lady Whatshername said she would put us in her will because she really liked the champagne we were serving in First Class? Maybe we are owners of an estate in England and don't even know it! Oh, and then there was the time all those snakes were on the plane! Crazy. Do you still have that tattoo? Boy, those were the days....

    9:15 AM, July 30, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    I will never forget that time we walked into the bookstore and there, over in the "Adult" section were Thomas Pynchon and J.D. Salinger giggling like schoolgirls.

    10:36 AM, July 31, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Ok guys. O has stepped in and decided he's going to be the judge. First prize is a $100 gift certificate to the bookstore. No bullshit. The catch is, you have to use it in person.

    9:09 AM, August 01, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    books.....drooling......

    9:33 AM, August 01, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    3:19 PM, August 01, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Stucco: heh.

    Nim Clowncar: No, I don't remember that yet. I think that happens to me tomorrow.

    D-Man: That wasn't me, that was Yoda. I was the one who said, "Dude. Dibs on his light saber."

    Bud: Without those royalities, I'd never be able to afford the payments on both houses in Martha's Vineyard. Thanks!

    Irrelephant: I'm telling you, that was not poison ivy. That rash came from those mushrooms I told you not to eat back when we were in Pango Pango.

    Lisa: Say hi to those guys for me while your back on the island, wouldja? Good times!

    DMG: That's ok; you have enough real memories to blackmail me 86 times over.

    Schmoopie: Horns too, I think. They were certainly into each other. I hope nothing bad happens to them...

    Amusing: Steve was a tramp, but a lot of fun. Lady, um, whatshername? Um, yeah. Too bad nothing came of that *hiding the deed to the castle* Snakes! Why'd it have to be snakes! And on a plane! But it did make for a cool tattoo.

    Amusing again: That was sooo disturbing, wasn't it? Especially the
    matching jumpers...

    7:35 PM, August 01, 2006  
    Anonymous O wrote in a love letter...

    Amusing - ND always says that Harper Lee was there giggling with messrs Pynchon & Salinger. Who's story is true?
    O

    12:05 AM, August 02, 2006  
    Anonymous clowncar wrote in a love letter...

    Remember that night in the campground when the trees were whispering like the rustle of paper bags and the moon was high and bright overhead like God’s own eye and you looked into the fire and said people got the idea of hell by looking into their campfires and I said they got the idea of hell from looking into their nightmares and then we were both silent for a very long time, listening to the trees, hiding from the moon, praying for sunrise.

    3:58 PM, August 02, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    Oh, Harper'd been out drinking with us. And apparently I was the only one who was the least bit sober enough to remember how things were! (Though they were wearing matching jumpers; she's right about that) The three of us gals came in to use the loo and there those two idiots were, cracking themselves up. They might have been looking at Madonna's SEX book -- the well-thumbed display copy. Boys will be boys, I guess. Though I think Harper said "A dope's always a dope" I wonder if she thought they'd been at the weed. They did put quite a dent in the basket of muffins Nancy had left out....

    7:11 PM, August 02, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Clowncar: The sun couldn't rise fast enough.

    Amusing: See? He didn't listen when I said Harper was giggling AT them, not with them. And I'm not making any accusations, but a copy of Sex disappeared that night. I'm just sayin'.
    And there was that time when you saw Hemingway in the theology section, and you went over and talked to him for five minutes. Before that, he'd been one of our biggest theology customers; after that, nada. What the hell did you say to him?

    9:37 PM, August 02, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    "God is in the details."

    You know Hemingway and details...

    Sorry if it affected the bottom line.

    Speaking of bottom lines, remember when Ellen Gilchrist came in for that signing and she was drunk off her ass and had that younger guy all over her?

    5:06 PM, August 03, 2006  
    Anonymous Anonymous wrote in a love letter...

    Y'know, Ernie told me that you said, "In the end, we're all dead." Sent him on a serious bender, he came in drunk and crying, and boy-o-boy, did he quit buying theology after that!
    O

    5:50 PM, August 03, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    yeah, but let's not forget that it was me who talked Eudora into buying all those photography coffee table books... and your profit on those is better than the theology anyway....

    My word v is "bigglik" -- apparently even blogger knows I need a friend and a margarita this weekend....

    11:06 AM, August 04, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Hope you found both, and both to your licking, I mean, liking. :-)

    10:24 PM, August 04, 2006  
    Anonymous O wrote in a love letter...

    Yeah, but now GBS is mad at me - he always bought photography and now I have two good customers competing for the same stuff.
    And if you scroll up to the top, ND has made a licking offer on my behalf.
    O

    11:13 PM, August 04, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    But dear, Ms. Welty is dead. Did her estate leave a standing order?

    And where is the licking offer?

    Curmudgeon is MIA. I'm here drinking alone, and no licking in sight.... sigh.

    11:56 AM, August 05, 2006  
    Anonymous O wrote in a love letter...

    Well, she had made a suggestion that people with beer were likely to be licked by me - it is a possibility - but her post seems to have vanished. It was up on the camping escapades post at the top.
    Wish she'd get more written about it - even tho I was there, I'd like to see her impressions written down. Mine amount to "It was fun and there was good music and I'm looking forward to next year. Oh, and there was beer, too."
    O

    9:43 PM, August 05, 2006  
    Blogger amusing wrote in a love letter...

    Speaking of beer, O, have you seen this:
    http://gprime.net/video.php/bigad

    12:46 PM, August 07, 2006  
    Anonymous O wrote in a love letter...

    That was very funny. Not sure why they were all getting hung up on the barbed wire fence, tho. Oh, maybe becase they'd had a few too many? :)
    O

    9:40 PM, August 09, 2006  

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