Life Among the Never-Winged

Once upon a time I was writing a book called, "Just Another Love Letter", about angels behaving badly. Now I just quietly ask myself each day, "What the hell am I doing?"

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Location: The Rocky Mountain Empire, United States

My friends always knew I was going to hell. My only hope is that God likes good jokes and bad redheads.

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  • Sunday, June 18, 2006

    Girl Likes Rain

    Fortunate Rain -- Marvin Hill

    'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
    I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
    Over my shoulder a piano falls
    Crashing to the ground


    The thunder outside coincides with the song on the radio.
    I try to brush the damp tangles out of my hair and again think about cutting it. But then I do what I always do. I lift my shirt up, tilt my head back a little, let the tips of my hair brush the small of my back, and change my mind again.

    I'm breaking through
    I'm bending spoons
    I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
    I'm looking for answers from the great
    Answers from the great, answers


    So what did I learn from my visit home? What ideas did I bring back with me like invisible souvenirs?

    I'm breaking through
    I'm bending spoons
    I'm keeping flowers in full bloom

    My old home is beautiful, and if I take any impressions with me when I die, they will be these: all the shades of green and the shape an oak tree takes against the sky.
    My old home is beautiful. And it is not for me anymore. I outgrew it.

    In all this talk of time
    Talk is fine
    But I don't want to stay around
    Why can't we pantomime, just close our eyes
    And sleep sweet dreams
    Me and you with wings on our feet

    I’ve been looking for a ‘geographical cure’ but it doesn’t work that way. We’re staying here because this is where O needs to be. His roots are deep, mine are shallow. Where he finds strength in this place, I find rocky soil.
    I won’t pull him up. I’ll dig deeper instead.

    I've watched the stars fall silent from your eyes
    All the sights that I have seen
    I can't believe that I believed I wished
    That you could see
    There's a new planet in the solar system
    There is nothing up my sleeve

    The door opens and O is home from the hospital. He tells me his dad is clear-headed today. The boyos run in to tell him about the lightning, the thunder, the rain beginning to fall, the multiple and unlikely dangers in storms. O asks me how they behaved while he was out. Not bad, I say.
    I take his keys and his car, roll the window down, drive toward the darkest clouds. Lightning splits a rainbow there. I stretch my arm out the window and touch the rain, then up to touch the top of the car. The sun is shining behind me. The wind shifts and blows the rain directly into the window. It feels good. At the next light, the passenger in the car ahead of mine stretches his arm out too, briefly.
    The storm passes, the mountains are clear in the distance.
    I come back home.

    Lyrics from REM: The Great Beyond

    9 people left me a love letter:

    Blogger Bud wrote in a love letter...

    That's just a beautiful post. I love how you used that lyric to help illuminate what you're doing and feeling. I'm really moved by this.

    5:55 AM, June 19, 2006  
    Blogger Dantares wrote in a love letter...

    I love storms. I also love that song. In fact, I love the entire album.
    And I know precisely what you mean but in the opposite fashion. I needed to leave to see clearly. It wasn't till I had been to Montreal did I see how clearly how much I have moved on mentally from my dad's place.
    It's like using a telescope to see something at your feet. Impossible till you move away.

    9:37 AM, June 19, 2006  
    Blogger Julie wrote in a love letter...

    hmmm...sounds like you should move to Portland!:)

    I hope you find peace with your geography...happily, it's easier to live anywhere when you are there with someone you love.

    3:05 PM, June 19, 2006  
    Anonymous clowncar wrote in a love letter...

    Well, that's good news. Wecome home!

    "At the next light, the passenger in the car ahead of mine stretches his arm out too, briefly. The storm passes, the mountains are clear in the distance.
    I come back home."

    Wow. Nice (so is the part about the boys telling O about the storm).

    3:50 PM, June 19, 2006  
    Blogger Lisa wrote in a love letter...

    Oh, we are kindred spirits, sweetheart!!! This post is like reading my own heart. plagarised me didn't you? hee.....I laugh with almost a tear in my eye at that! Ok, it's hormone city here today, bite me.

    Maybe someday we will be rich and/or famous authors and can drag our husbands to the land o' trees and water, of older architecture and different horizons...but I love your line: I, too, have dug deeper. I wish it rain here, right now, to lift my spirits and cancel the boys' tee ball game...

    5:34 PM, June 19, 2006  
    Blogger Popeye wrote in a love letter...

    Mmmm. Thunderstorms. Please send one my way, won't you?

    5:44 AM, June 20, 2006  
    Blogger Jonathon S.B. Tiercel wrote in a love letter...

    Rain? We have no rain in the desert... just waves of heat...

    Must agree with popeye... send some my way.

    Liked the post, miss you all the most.

    wv: fglhmh

    11:38 AM, June 20, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Bud: Thank you so much! :-)

    Dantares: Great analogy. You see where I'm coming from. :-)

    Julie: Amen, Girlfriend! I need to introduce you to Schmoopie and Stucco, two folks desperately trying to get to where you're at.

    Mr. Clowncar: Thanks. We'll be down to see you guys soon, I think.

    Lisa: You had every right to be hormonal yesterday, ugh! Plagarized you? Gosh, I hope not! I think we just go to the same places in our heads.

    Popeye: Nope, sorry, keeping them all for myself. I'm selfish that way. Go look at the lake. Right now. :-)

    JT: Weelllll....ok, for you I would make an exception. Take care of yourself. No more terrorist food-poisonings, ok?

    3:38 PM, June 20, 2006  
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