Life Among the Never-Winged

Once upon a time I was writing a book called, "Just Another Love Letter", about angels behaving badly. Now I just quietly ask myself each day, "What the hell am I doing?"

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Location: The Rocky Mountain Empire, United States

My friends always knew I was going to hell. My only hope is that God likes good jokes and bad redheads.

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  • Tuesday, February 28, 2006

    A (Dancehall) Day in the Life


    Marvin Hill -- Pursuit



    It’s a glorious day today, weather-wise; a warm day – not just a not-cold day but an honest-to-God warm warm warm day with soft breezes and white clouds like scrim taking the edge off the sunlight.
    I’m outside, there’s fresh earth on my bare feet, my skin smells like honey, my hair like jasmine and vanilla, the boyos are playing together (Jack is pretending to be a dog named Cookies – inspired no doubt by Julie’s new puppy, Pancakes) and the windows are all opened to take in the fresh air.

    I got the test results back.

    I’m sitting out in the sunlight and warmth of the garden, watching the boyos play, and planning what I’m going to plant in the spring, and where, and I’m thankful that the techs didn't find anything disturbing, and I’m trying to decide if I want to follow up with an MRI or not, thinking that I should, but not wanting to think about it, so I’m back to watching the guys and wondering what to plant, and where.

    Inside, the computer shuffles through my favorite songs and I listen – Shawn Colvin rides shotgun down the avalanche. The Foo Fighters have their hands on a miracle. Nickel Creeks wishes me out of the woods. October Project advises me to cover the mirror and hide in my dreams. Emmylou Harris dreams about angels turning to ashes and tumbling with me to the earth so far below, Michelangelo.

    The last episode wasn’t so bad, but I made O stick around anyway, because I didn’t want to try and ‘watch’ the boyos when I couldn’t see anything at all. Luckily, the ocular passed fairly quickly, and didn’t take all my vision, and there was no pain afterward. It’s just an inconvenient bitch, though, you know? We could have gone to a birthday party that afternoon, but I didn’t dare drive. And I was fine, and the boyos missed a birthday party for no good reason.

    So, I guess I’m leaning toward the MRI. I’ve kinda learned a lesson this week about better safe than sorry. I just want to switch my primary care physician first. I think I could find a sympathetic baboon who’d do a better job. (Sorry. I still haven’t gotten past the “Oh, I didn’t think you’d cry when I told you you’d better plan on having kids yesterday because it’s not going to happen for you” appointment.)

    Ok, done with the bitterness.

    So, I think I talked to every single one of my neighbors today, including S. a couple of blocks down, who was on her way to the hospital with breast milk for her twin boys. They were early, but doing just fine, and should be home soon. I’m seeing play dates in the future. God, I hate that term; play date.

    Then I sat for a while in the swing in the back yard, and watched a falcon ride the air almost listlessly, until he dove and an incredible speed to catch a sparrow. You should have seen him arc back up about three feet from the ground. The sparrow escaped, lucky little thing. The falcon dove for another bird and missed again, I assume, since he came back up empty-taloned, and flew east.


    Now to bed.


    de nada

    3 people left me a love letter:

    Blogger mykl jon wrote in a love letter...

    i'm sorry. i came in late.

    Would you rather I went back and found out what the test was for or tell me? It sounds like good but inconclusive news. That means they ruled out some stuff but not everything. What will the MRI possibly tell you? Have you ever had an MRI before? Do you have any questions I might be able to help with? I can't always answer but I can often help find the right questions to take to the doc with you. I would be happy to talk on the phone. I can call anywhere in the US for free. Would you like my email address for more privacy?
    mykl

    9:42 PM, March 01, 2006  
    Blogger Nancy Dancehall wrote in a love letter...

    Hey, better late than never. And thank you. Your offer is very sweet.

    The short of it is, I was on the Ortho Evra patch. My ob/gyn literally ripped it off me when I complained of occular headaches. That was over a year ago, but I continue to experience episodes of blindness, headaches, inability to speak, leg pains, and loss of motor control in my hands, among other things. It all comes and goes.

    Yarg. I sound like an old woman.

    Never had an MRI, or any type of scan. I'm deathly afraid of close spaces. I need air!

    11:01 PM, March 01, 2006  
    Blogger mykl jon wrote in a love letter...

    Got it! Sounds pretty scary.
    Closed spaces huh? That's one of those things that people always try to give you advice for that doesn't work because it would only work in their own mind and not yours. That being said...here's my advice:(which, of course, I realize is most likely doomed as I said earlier)
    my advice comes in the form of a question. If you were giving someone advice, that is in your exact situation, what would you tell them?
    I know that sounds like pop psychology but sometimes it works. You have to take your own advice of course. That's the tricky part. If you decide to do the MRI, take someone that you trust unquestionably. Also, if you haven't already, tell this problem to your doc. Sometimes they can give you calming medications to help you through. Sometimes they can't because of the nature of the results they are looking for and the type of action the medication has.
    I'm still available to talk with and try to help you sort out the situation and break it down into smaller parts that are possibly more manageable. (like this run on sentence)
    Just for the record...I'm not trying to talk you into doing the MRI. I'm just trying to help you increase your options in case you really want to do the MRI but are having trouble getting yourself to think it might be OK.
    I have one more idea. Hypnosis...ask your doctor about this also.
    When is the MRI supposed to be done and are there any other options for you right now?
    mykl

    11:30 PM, March 02, 2006  

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