Life Among the Never-Winged

Once upon a time I was writing a book called, "Just Another Love Letter", about angels behaving badly. Now I just quietly ask myself each day, "What the hell am I doing?"

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Location: The Rocky Mountain Empire, United States

My friends always knew I was going to hell. My only hope is that God likes good jokes and bad redheads.

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  • Tuesday, November 15, 2005

    Dialogue and Hell's Half Acre

    What I'd really like to write about here, is the ending of summer, the slow creep of fall, the snow that covers Hell's Half Acre, as O and I have come to call our suburban home. The garden's been put to bed, a handfull of parsnips left in the ground to sweeten over winter, the bok choy that will not let go, stray tomatoes that will grow up to be volunteers I won't have the heart to pull next spring, damn the rotation. The pocket meadow at the top of our property, ringed with wild plum trees, like a lace collar in the spring flowering. Their fruit is small, but so dark and sweet! The way that summer sees its fall approaching and hushes down its heat, letting cool breezes blue up the sky. The cottonwoods that frame the fence one yard over, and how that fence might conceal a long table laden with food, and people feasting, laughing, children playing, everyone happy at the end of the afternoon, the late-day light shining perfectly on them. And how that fence might not conceal anything at all, might only be a boundry between properties. But as long as I cannot prove that it conceals nothing out of the ordinary, I cannot prove that it doesn't, so it keeps my existentialism at bay. I don't want to lose this place.

    In the meantime, I wrestle with Penemuel's dialogue, disgaced in knowing I'm just too dumb to be his mouthpiece. He's the keeper of words, after all. His speech should be elegant and precise, not wordy or lofty, but beautiful. Shaker furniture should fall from his lips, you know what I mean? So I bounce between:

    “You won’t marry me because you think I’m damned.”

    "Why is marriage such anathema to you? Do I blister your sense of decency? Forgive me if I mistook your physical affection for a welling of the heart, of emotion made flesh, when flesh danced perfected in the fine confines of your bed. Forgive me if I cannot halt my march toward loving you completely, for all eternity, should God grace us with such an embarrassment of time.
    My speech is made clay for your ears, and clangs in my own, unsuitable for encapsulating the delicate, shining song turning in my heart. No golden notes can emulate the brilliance of what lies inside me, of love like the reflection in a mirror cupped in your palm. You bend your face, eye catches eye, the mirror would preserve your visage if you’d but stare pacified and contented. It would betray no line of worry or regret, no canker of your beauty revealed, no strands of grey creeping into the chestnut river of your hair. The bloom of your cheeks like everspring, like a sunrise satisfied to stay low and rosy. My love knows no evening."
    Neither works, don't you think?

    Ok, bed.

    2 people left me a love letter:

    Anonymous snarky mcdaddypants wrote in a love letter...

    I think they both work, though I like the shorter one better. Or you could hav Sara see his lips say the first one, but "hear" the second one in her mind.

    Sorry about your friend dying.

    3:47 PM, November 18, 2005  
    Anonymous des_moines_girl wrote in a love letter...

    Beautiful pic! Great description of Hell's Half Acre!

    Embracing your inner teenage angst again, are we? ;-)

    Ah well - yes - maybe something between the two extremes.

    Writing is sometimes like dumping all the puzzle pieces on the floor all at once.
    Now you have to find the few pieces that actual fit together.

    Some very nice phrases/imagery - pull out your best three lines to work on
    and put the rest away for another day.

    Or you can look at it this way - you've decluttered your brain so now you can write from a
    clean slate.

    You've got to finish this book! I've got to know how this turns out!!! :-)

    3:54 PM, November 18, 2005  

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